Suffolk Gazette News Updates

Farage raps in Parliament; Starmer erupts, chaos and disbelief follow. By Our Political Correspondent: Polly Ticks HOUSE OF COMMONS – In what political commentators are already calling “the most bewildering three minutes in parliamentary history,” Nigel Farage appeared at today’s Prime Minister’s Questions dressed in full Gangsta Rap attire —… Read more »

Ipswich Town fans replace beer cups with refillable 45-pint lager jackets. By Our Football Staff PORTMAN ROAD, IPSWICH – Ipswich Town Football Club has announced it will replace traditional plastic beer cups with refillable, lager-filled puffer jackets at Portman Road. The decision follows repeated incidents of half-full pints being hurled… Read more »

BATTEFIELD, KIEV – In a move that has left military analysts both baffled and oddly impressed, the British Army has unveiled its latest battlefield innovation: Private Jonathan Squealer, dubbed “The Bunker Buster.” By Our Defence Editor: Doug Trench Weighing a formidable 133 kilos and boasting a 52-inch waistline, the Royal… Read more »

Deported migrant returns again, highlighting UK’s confusing, circular immigration system. By Our Angling Correspondent: Courtney Pike DOVER, UK – Britain’s already labyrinthine immigration system was thrown into fresh bewilderment this week as a second previously-deported migrant returned to the UK via a small inflatable dinghy—apparently deciding Britain was the reference… Read more »

BROADCASTING HOUSE, LONDON – In what many are describing as “the most Partridge thing ever to happen to the BBC,” the nation’s favourite inept broadcaster, Alan Partridge, has emerged as the frontrunner to become the next Director General of the corporation. By Our Political Correspondent: Polly Ticks The vacancy arose… Read more »

Predictive UX is rapidly reshaping the online gaming landscape, especially in iGaming, where user experience is central to trust, enjoyment, and responsible play. Instead of simply reacting to player choices, platforms are now anticipating needs in real time, creating smoother journeys and more personalised entertainment. With AI advancing quickly and… Read more »

William and Harry to meet in the ring for good old-fashioned punch-up Rumors are gathering pace that Britain’s most famous feuding brothers, Princes William and Harry, may finally reunite next month – but not over tea and scones at Buckingham Palace. Instead, whispers from palace insiders suggest the estranged royals… Read more »

Home Secretary reopens Fawlty Towers hotel as accommodation for asylum seekers. By Our Political Correspondent: Polly Ticks TORQUAY, ENGLAND – Labour’s handling of the small boat migrant crisis reached new absurdity this week when Home Secretary Shabana Mahmood announced that the notorious Torquay establishment, Fawlty Towers, will be reopened as… Read more »

London protest halted as man loses contact lens mid-march. By Our Religious Affairs Reporter: Rev Evan Elpus TOWER HAMLETS, LONDON – London witnessed another day of “peaceful tension” yesterday as two opposing groups — one marching against a cancelled UKIP protest and the other apparently searching for a lost contact… Read more »

Suffolk Police baffled after “a very large and hard-to-hide object.” Goes missing. By Our Crime Editor: Rob Banks Suffolk Constabulary has launched an urgent appeal after an entire bus. Registration WZ56 LFT, vanished without a trace from a depot in Stowmarket late Thursday night. The missing vehicle, a number 76… Read more »