Suffolk Gazette News Updates

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  • Fat-shaming park benches installed across Suffolk
    In an attempt to champion the cause of inclusivity, Suffolk County Council has taken a bold step towards eradicating bench-based bias by introducing “individual” park benches in all public spaces. The move, part of their Diversity, Equality & Inclusion (DEI) drive, is aimed at addressing the alleged discrimination faced by… Read more »
  • New Domino’s Pizza bike ‘Half Baked’ says Ben & Jerry
    SOMEONE’S DOORSTEP, SUFFOLK –  Domino’s Pizza proudly unveiled its latest delivery innovation (bike): the HEATED Domino’s DXB e-bike. Ta-da! By Colin Allcabs, Consumer Editor The state-of-the-art two-wheeler features a revolutionary “temperature-controlled pizza pod”. Designed to keep pizzas piping hot during their journey from the oven to the customer’s doorstep. Sporting… Read more »
  • Elgin marbles to be repatriated
    WESTMINSTER, LONDON – British Prime Minister Rishi Sunak has reportedly struck a deal with Greece to return the long-contested Parthenon (Elgin) Marbles. However, the agreement comes with a peculiar and unexpected caveat: Greece must, in return, graciously accept all economic migrants and asylum seekers arriving on Britain’s shores in small… Read more »
  • DWP in Dickensian Christmas benefits crackdown
    A SINK ESTATE, SOMEWHERE IN ENGLAND – The Government’s Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) has announced a Christmas crackdown on luminescent benefits cheats gaming the system. The DWP is to scrutinize properties in poor areas bedecked with over-elaborate outdoor decorations. To determine whether recipients of Jobseeker’s Allowance are truly… Read more »
  • 5 of the Best Adventure Themed Slots from Metropolitan Gaming
    Adventure-themed slot games have always been a hit among online gaming enthusiasts. They offer an escape into exciting and often exotic worlds, filled with treasures waiting to be discovered. Metropolitan Gaming, a leading name in the online gaming industry, has developed several adventure-themed slots that stand out for their thrilling… Read more »
  • A Comprehensive Guide to Safe Warehouse Working
    Warehouses are bustling hubs of activity, with goods moving in and out, machinery operating, and workers navigating through aisles. In this dynamic environment, safety is paramount. Ensuring the well-being of warehouse workers not only protects individuals but also contributes to the overall efficiency and success of the operation. This comprehensive… Read more »
  • New wonder drug has nothing to do with women’s health
    BOOTS, IPSWICH – Are you, or do you know someone who is a complete CUNT? Well, never fear because a new pharmaceutical remedy, ‘Cuntybiotics’ a wonder drug is here! By Ian Bred, Norfolk Correspondent Let’s be honest, if we aren’t a massive cunt ourselves, we all know someone who is.… Read more »
  • The Evolution of Online Poker Tournaments: From Moneymaker to Million-Dollar Pots
    With the emergence of the Internet in the late 20th century, a lot of industries experienced changes. Gambling is no exception. The transformation from brick-and-mortar locations to virtual casino games modified people’s engagement and playing structure. The journey of poker games from humble beginnings to a million-dollar tournament is fascinating.… Read more »
  • Large expansion developed at retail centre building site
    MUDDY BUILDING SITE, HALESWORTH – A group of sex-starved workmen on a Suffolk building site is demanding the installation of a special cubicle dedicated to a unique form of on-the-job stress relief. By Colin Allcabs, Consumer Editor The site, located near Halesworth, Suffolk, is witnessing an uprising of sorts as… Read more »
  • Thirsty workers told ‘You f*ck offee’
    IPSWICH, SUFFOLK – Any readers who were alive in the 1970s will remember the “Cup hands here comes Cadburys” TV advert. Well, this is exactly what thirsty workers at an Ipswich call centre have been doing ever since their office vending machine ran out of cups. By Colin Allcabs, Consumer… Read more »

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